Caroline doesn’t abhor a vacuum cleaner (much)

While we were away, my vacuum cleaner died. This could have been because it was unaccustomed to being used – Tim kindly decided to clean the house ready for our return – who knows?

Anyway, RIP, purple vacuum cleaner. You had a hard life what with the dogs, the dust, the muddy boots, the horse rugs, the chicken feed, the inconsistent usage, the domestic abuse.


See, lying down. Dead as a dead vacuum cleaner. 

My friend Tessa offered to lend me hers. Why on earth would I want to borrow a vacuum cleaner? In my defence, rather than hoovering on Friday, which is the chosen day, I cut the hedge instead, so earned a few house points.

Today, we bought a NEW vacuum cleaner. THE most heavy-duty one we could find.


“There are days when any electrical appliance in the house, including the vacuum cleaner, seems to offer more entertainment than the TV set, ” said Harriet van Horne.

Well, today she may be right. There are attachments on the attachments. It has a flex about two miles long. You needed a degree in Mechanical Engineering to get it out of the box and assemble it, not to mention understand the manual. 19 cyclones working in parallel across two tiers generate high centrifugal forces? Oh yeah. Tangle-free Turbine Tool. Now you’ve really lost me.

Be very afraid, carpet! Cling to those floorboards.

Take cover,  microscopic particles as small as 0.5 microns including mould, fungus and bacteria.

We’re coming to get you!

Some time.


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