“The world is larger and more beautiful than my little struggle.”

Yes, I’ve been a bit absent, blog-wise. Thank you so much, my little struggle, which is way smaller and much less beautiful than the world.

Image by SugarAngel44 from DeviantArt

Image by SugarAngel44 from DeviantArt

(Oh, and the title quote comes from Ravi Zacharius and the closing one from S. D. Gordon).

The blog is always the first thing to go – that and vitality – when the struggle takes hold. My head tells me to concentrate on the things that MUST be done; my mind tells me it can only cope with so much, and writing a blog is not on the list. Silly head. Silly mind. Why do I listen to them? Writing a blog always makes me feel better.

The struggle is with life. Life occurs as a struggle.

The Struggle, by Darwin Leon

The Struggle, by Darwin Leon

The struggle is an embarrassment to me because I am the girl who has everything. I won’t even start to list all the blessings I have in my life and neither will I enumerate how much less fortunate most people in the universe are than I am. I mean, just think of the people of Syria, every minute of every day, think of  the victims of the GermanWings plane crash (including the pilot), think of the devastation at Garissa University…

So who am I to say I am finding life a struggle?

I’m someone who can be ensnared by depression sometimes, whatever steps I take to combat it. Keeping active. Talking possibility. Telling myself not to be such a pathetic creature and that I should just pull myself together. Going to bed even earlier. Working harder. Counting my blessings. Taking medication. Being firmly of the Dodie Smith school of psychiatric care:

“Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression.”

By Dashinvaine

By Dashinvaine

I won’t trouble you with a picture of me in a hot bath.

I don’t write blogs when I’m in the grip of the struggle because…it’s all I can do to drag one weary mental foot in front of another, I’m so sapped of energy.

Wading through treacle…would be preferable.

By Tara Keatinge

By Tara Keatinge

And it is so utterly tedious and boring to me as a subject that I can only begin to imagine what it must be like for anyone reading it.

So, there you have it. I’ve come out.

Today, for no good reason (the sun is shining?) I have turned a corner.

It seems kind of appropriate that it should be on Easter Sunday.


“Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life.”

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