A world of pains and troubles

“Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?” said John Keats, and I said ‘Oh, go away, will you?’ (That was the polite version!)

See, I have a bad back.


Not life-threatening. Not the end of the world. I’ve tried so hard not to moan. I’ve slept on the floor. I’ve done the exercises. I’ve kept going. I’ve taken the pain-killers.

BUT, it pains me to tell you, I’m in pain. And being in pain is such a pain. Not just for me, but everyone around me who has to put up with me being a martyr. It is in no way schooling my intelligence and making it a soul.

So. here’s a funny thing:


Arf arf arf.

Another funny thing.

Just when the pains were getting better, I was driving along, listening to the radio, and something I heard made me laugh so hard that…I put my back out again.

Laughter is NOT the best medicine.

And this is what made me laugh:

Thank you, Jack The Lad on Heart FM breakfast show. Not at all. He was talking about how stunning Kate Middleton looked shortly after she’d given birth to Baby Charlotte Elizabeth Diana. He said, ‘I love my wife very much. She’s a beautiful woman. But eight hours after she’d given birth to our son…she looked like Alice Co0per caught in a downpour.’


Not in a downpour, but you get the idea? I could so relate to this image of myself after childbirth. More pains, but so much more productive than these I’m currently enjoying. (A euphemism).

So there you have it. My latest feeble excuse for a) not writing any blogs b) not doing any creative writing

AND IT IS SO INSIGNIFICANT compared to…well, a lot of things, too obvious in the world news for me to mention here.

To misquote, slightly, Rob Sheffield (Love is a Mix Tape)  “It’s the same with people who say, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ Even people who say this must realize that the exact opposite is true. What doesn’t kill you maims you, cripples you, leaves you weak, makes you whiny and full of yourself at the same time. The more pains you have, the more pompous you get. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you incredibly annoying.”

So I apologise, here and now,  for being incredibly annoying.

But, ooooh, my back…


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